DREAM.. Become Who YOU Are

Hello new friends....long time since I have legitimately posted in this bad boy....so for those who forgot about me....get used to all the    ..........'s   :o)

Wish I had more to write about although at the moment I'm lulling myself to sleep with a bit of humility and a slight dose of nostalgia....funny you know....I feel like I'm living in 4 year revolving circles of moods, preferences, likes, dislikes, people, work ethic and ideals.  I feel OLD yet I'm not.  I feel like I should be living and learning....yet I'm not.  Weird you know....how fast time flies....you sit and let it pass.....until one day, one moment....everything seems to catch up to you....you sit and you think to yourself.....FUCK.....what the hell have I been doing with myself....kind of a new years set on mental resolutions....I mean I hate to be the one to say it....but shit....one day....we'll just expire...and during that overwhelming moment when you realize just how much of your life has passed you by.....you decide, vow even, to appreciate the little things as you slip into a deep sleep and wake up to a new 4 year cycle (4 years for me)....four years later I'm posting this same sort of thing....

suppose there's something I should do about that....kind of mind blowing....a splash of cold water to the face...a sunrise of epic proportions...

Life is fantastic....yet monotonous....which is purely my own fault....maybe its a change of scenery I need...what I do know is that SHE will be with me...

more to come....

WHAT DO YOU THINK....AM I STRANGE?    OR IS THIS ALL TO FAMILIAR?

longggggggg time no post....any of you guys still use this thing????

not sure who has stuck with this and who has not....just figured I'd post and see who was still around...havn't posted in over ayear....how is everyone????

Soooooo....it's been a long ass time since I've posted EH?

A TON of stuff has changed in the past year...I can feel myself growing up and I'm not to sure how happy I am about it...COLLEGE IS OVER...which blows, but I suppose it was time...had a "big kid job" in south boston which I slaved away at for a few months and subsequently ditched after nearly burning myself out...I'm living with my woman now in southern mass and working again in south boston at a new job which I love although I feel it's only temporary...CORPORATE AMERICA HERE I COME...

BOUGHT A NEW CAR A MONTH OR SO AGO (2006 SCION TC) WHICH I LOVE...things have been falling into place...although...I feel like I'm neglecting a lot of the people who got me to where I am now...time to make up for it...more to come...back to work....miss all you guys...sorry for being such a bitch

I THINK EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT ME....WHATS UP WITH THAT....IT'S ME....TIMMYJ....HELLOOOOO

I'm back kids....lost the internet for a couple weeks....MISS ME?


EDIT: The motorcycle is back on the road...spring is here

Everyone needs to come visit us soon....REAL soon....all of you....no exceptions

now that I got that outta the way....Had an awesome past couple of weeks...

Last weekend I took a much needed break from plymouth and everything thats been killing me slowly over the past few months/years and went home for the first time in too long...sister came up and picked me up on thursday...spent the night at her house with her husband...just chilled out and watched movies....FOUND OUT MY DAD AND STEPMOTHER ARE HAVING TWINS....I"M OLD ENOGUH TO BE THERE FATHER.....CRAZY SHIT....anyways friday my sis, her husband and I went down to boston for the day and met up with Emalee (the new woman)...it was another much needed change of scenery....I love boston...but holy shit is it draining...anyways....we picked her fine ass up at south station, parked and headed for phanuel hall and quincy market for lunch...which I miss....any kind of food you can think of...all fried greasy and delicious...from there we went to the aquarium...haven't been there in too long...hasnt changed at all...its still nice to walk around for a while...spent a majority of the day there....then hit up newbury st and starbucks...hung out in the lounge area for a bit then went to condom world and newbury comics....chilled out for a while then went to the prudential center for dinner with emalees friend and her boy toy at dicks last resort....had my cherry popped there...kinda fun...not as crazy as I had anticipated, but it was still a good time...after that we went out separate ways....emalee came home to merrimack and spent the weekend at my house...nothin special...just bummed around, watched movies and spent time together...it was actually one of the best weekends I've had in a long time....doing nothing at all....I really miss having someone around who I am completely content just being with and Emalee is certainly that person for me right now....everything is more fun when shes around...I find something new that I love about her every day...but thats half the fun right....discovering someones quirks...those things that make them who they are....those things which you fall in love with...I miss that....its a treasure hunt where clues are handed to you steadily from day to day....except every clue excites you in such a way that you cherish them...when we were in Boston we were sitting in the Prudential at the main entrance where most of the people enter and exit and we just sat there side by side...people watching....taking everything in...I love people watching....but its so much better when you can think outload and know that someone else is thinkingthe same thing...I dunno....I guess I'm whipped kids...completely addicted....for the first time in a long time...and I didn't think I wanted this right now....but I'm starting to find that its exactly what I needed and craved...sorry to be so sappy...its not like me...but I'm happy...REALLY HAPPY...its been too long...nothing else matters....work, slowly dying here in plymouth...nothing...long time...

[01] Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
[02] I will then tell what song(s) remind me of you.
[03] Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
[04] Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
[05] Put this in your journal.

well I'm gonna write a long post....feel free to read all the way through....or don't....I just need to let some of you people know whats been going on....sorry for being a bitch...not commenting and such....but whatever....comments are nice...here it goes....

first thing is first....my dad and his 30 year old wife are having TWINSSSSSSSSSS....how fucked up is that....I'm nearly 22 now...my dad is 41....but I'm honestly old enough to be there parents...my step mother was pregnant before and lost it and I thought that she was terribly discouraged...but they were planning on having 2 children anyways....so I think they are excited to get it out of the way all at once...they are fraternal twins not identicle...but I am really excited to be a part of this....I have a younger bro who is 10 now....and taking care of hime was fun...but now I feel that I can play a bigger role in the lives of these two...she is only 8 weeks along...but I'm psyched...I'm gonna be an awesome father when that time comes...

secondly...I'm totally swamped in bills....like anal rape....and I finally got paperwork saying I can get my license back and start working again...and then bam....state says I need extra insurance...what a sack of shit...oh well

thirdly...as we are about to get snow up the ass....I can't help but think about the forthcoming summer...so many things are changing in my life...so many large amazing events unfolding one day at a time...the navy is going to have to wait...

and finally forth...the think that at the moment I am most excited about...a girl....a wonderfully amazing girl who makes me smile like no one else I have ever been with...including my relationships of 2 and 3 years...and those girls were incredible....which speaks volumes about her...I feel like she is one of those girls that I could never be bored with...someone who I could sit around and just stare at in silence and both be completely content....she is funny...in the same smart ass....totally sarcastic asshole way....which I love....she is unbelievably beautiful...I dunno that she is necessarily my type...not that I have a type....but I am very much attracted to her...her looks and faces and smile...those little things that keep you on edge...its funny though....the thing that sticks out most for me is how genuine she is...she says things and I feel that I can trust her...not that we have exchanged anything of utter importance yet....but the feeling that you feel when you know you can trust someone is intoxicating...I have been able to spend some time with her the past couple weekends....she ate dinner at my house with my family on a complete whim and survived....my parents loved her and my ever so critical and gossip hound of a sister was as impressed with her as I am...I suppose its just a breath of fresh air...I have been dating and spending(make that wasting) time with so many self centered, self indulgent women that I feel like I had forgotten what a girl like this was like...finding a girl with something to offer up here has proven to be quite the challenge...and then out of no where...someone like this falls right in to my lap...I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling right now....I don't know if this is serious...and I don't know that it needs to be right now...I don't really know exactly how she feels...and if, by some small chance, she may have similar feelings....I know she seems to have fun with me....I know she smiles all the time....but there are hurdles...as there is with anything in life...I just don't know if I'm in this race by myself...I have been thinking about so many things....good and bad....some kind of clarity would be great....unfortunately things right now are anything but clear...I just know I'm having fun and I'm happiest right now when she is around...I'm the person I used to be....the person I want to be....and that my friends...excites me like nothing else...


I'll stop there...I apoligize for the rambling....just needed to vent in a good way I supose...comments are nice

I have some things to post about....but I have totally neglected livejournal for a while....just wanted to see who was still with me

So I realize it's been a while since my last update...sorry kids...

I have been in a constant haze for the past month...I don't know if I'm coming or going...what I have accomplished or what opportunities I've missed...to be honest I have been a lazy ass bitch....and I hate it...

the navy called me the other day and took my information....I should be scheduling a recruiter meeting soon....it's nice to see things unfolding....nice to see some definition to life...a small sign hinting at the direction I should be heading...I'm excited....but I have a lot of work to do...I have a year to lose 45 pounds...a year is plenty of time and although I am completely content with who I am...I need something like this to trigger my motivation....I have been to the gym twice again....after slacking the past couple weeks....I'm fucking psyched for this...traveling europe, saving money, and maturing into a person I am content with...I too have a full plate...

it's been a long winter break...no work....just relaxation...which has been great...but now....I'm tiring of the lifestyle with which I have become accustomed to...I have put my body through an endless amount of abuse and it's starting to fight back...

my apologies to those who I have neglected....I meant no harm...those of you who know me best...can find the truth in such a statement...I guess I just needed a post to reflect...comment if you wish

I guess I'm just an asshole....what can I say

PARTY HERE AT PLYMOUTH

THIS FRIDAY

EVERYONE IS INVITED

EVERYONE BETTER ATTEND

THAT IS ALL!

hey everyone...first time online in a couple weeks....just wanted to say I'm home for break and I'll be back to posting again once I'm back at school....haha....sorry for the delay

I just don't know anymore...sorry everyone for the livejournal-neglect over the past few days....I have a lot to figure out...things I want and things I need...with whom my time is best spent...basically I have been being selfish...sorry all...I'll be back to normal soon

I JUST REALIZED THAT I'M TERRIBLE AT EXPRESSING MYSELF WHEN THINGS MATTER....I TRIP OVER WORDS, OFTEN GETTING LOST IN THE MESSAGES I WANT TO CONVEY...I WISH I KNEW HOW....UNTIL I FIGURE IT OUT, OPPORTUNITIES WILL CONTINUE TO PASS ME BY....MORE LATER

oldie but goodie
The sun caresses her beauty-stricken face
Magnificence, a true wonder to behold
Caught at the precise moment of perfection
I envied and admired from afar

Her hair blew patiently
Like the leaves on a fall day
Every whisk of breeze
A new introduction to the world

Fair gorgeousness untold in fairy tales
She was an object of adoration
Beaming with confidence
The type only tears can conceal

At that moment of perfection
Our stories were exchanged
We spoke of hope and loves lost
Self-confidence and appearances

She seems so far away
The measure of our closeness
Has yet to be determined
A burst of motivation and a swell in the breeze

She is the epitome of my searches
The longing in my soul
We shared so much together
In that moment of perfection

so much to smile about these days...kinda in the mood to write again...maybe tonight...I think I might repost some of the older things I wrote, if thats ok with all of you?

I absolutely adore a girl I only recently met...she is everything that I have been looking dor...one catch though...I don't think I can have her

Sean Duhaime this is one of the only Josh ritter songs I like


I’m your homeward boy
but there’s another one
who brings me to your door
and the boat she weaved from the tidal reeds
was always tied to shore
with bright smiles and dark eyes
bright smile dark eyes
everywhere I went oh
I was always searching for ya
bright smile dark eyes
I’m looking for some peace
but it’s so hard to find
with Calamity Janes and the Steamboat Casanovas
and Darling Clementines
if she’s your only one
then she is also mine
just pin your heartbeat up against my heartbeat
and you’ll see how well we rhyme
with bright smiles and dark eyes
bright smile dark eyes
everywhere I went oh
I was always looking for ya
bright smile dark eyes
man is only half himself
the other half is a bright thing
he tumbles on by luck or grace
for man is ever a blind thing
bright smiles and dark eyes